I’ve always known my gut instinct was terrible. It’s never on point and religiously incorrect most of the time. When my gut instinct tells me to go right, I’m most likely supposed to have turned left. Which is why I usually choose to think with my head, even when it came to relationships. Or trust […]
Winter is coming… NYC winters are always difficult. Especially if you’re living in a small apartment that’s windowless. My winters have turned 180 since I moved to an apartment with wall-length windows, letting the sun come in. Even though I had windows in my previous apartment, I always had my curtains shut for privacy because […]
The past six months have been a mental struggle outside of job hunting. If you read my post on self-actualization, you’ll know that I have been going through an existential crisis. What makes it worse, is that I have not found the answer yet to this internal turmoil. During my search, I have gone through […]
I have been relatively happy these past few months. Yet, simultaneously I would also define them as a struggle. I have had a difficult time defining these confusing emotions to my therapist. One week I was blaming my lack of routine to be the culprit for why I’m feeling this strange empty feeling. But then […]
Covid has seemed to have matchmade the whole universe during quarantine except for me. Perhaps it was just those in my social circle. Whatever it was, it was apparent.
I was at a point in my life where I was content and didn’t seem to find the need to have a partner. 95% percent of the time, I was happy single. But I wouldn’t be human if there wasn’t that 5% where I felt a subconscious pressure to find someone because everyone around me had found ‘the one.’ I succumbed to that pressure last night when I found myself going on a date, wanting to feel that connection everyone has seemed to have discovered. Early spoiler, I didn’t feel that connection as usual. However, I did find something else.
For years I’ve wondered why I lack motivation. Whether it’s to wake up to go to work, to attend my classes when I was in college, or to even pursue my hobbies. I kept thinking that something was wrong with me as I had no motivation to even go through my day. Was I just lazy?
It’s hard to feel grounded these days as we see constant snippets in social media where young adults have become successful entrepreneurs or have made it after leaving the traditional path of getting a job. They pursued their passion on youTube or even Tick Tock. We have become surrounded by these narratives created by influencers, where they have essentially reached their peak with their healthy routines and lifestyles. The one that still scares me is how they enjoy waking up at the crack of dawn.