Discovering my personal style was a recent journey I decided to prioritize this past year. In NYC, people are loud about their identity. Ironically, despite being a native New Yorker, I’ve always preferred to be in the background. Never wanted to be in the center of attention. This didn’t do much for my confidence when I realized I had no other indicator of what my personal style was other than, not too flashy or not too boring.
It was never about trying to look more attractive. Prioritizing my personal style was to become more confident – because confidence is what makes attractive people stunning. Confident people express their identity because they’re proud of who they are. One way they do that is through fashion.
Read below on some of the tips and tricks that have helped me uncover what my personal style is.
1. Follow a YouTube or Instagram Account Whose Fashion/Style Resonates With You The Most
My best friend gave me this tip. I told her about my concern, with my lack of personal style and how it was affecting my confidence. Even though people have told me often that they think I dress well, I never truly felt confident. Soon I realized that even if looked attractive in other people’s eyes, it wasn’t important. If your style wasn’t a true representation of yourself, you don’t feel confident internally – and that was far more crucial.
Her main tip was to follow a YouTube channel or Instagram account whose style I loved. Whenever I would go shopping with her, most of the time she would be shopping for things based on the inspiration she received from an Instagram post. She follows countless people because she loves their fashion.
Taking tips from others doesn’t mean you can’t be unique with your style. Most of the time, I end up taking bits and pieces of what I like or as inspiration for my closet. The person I decided to follow and love is Dearly Bethany on YouTube. Her tips and tricks helped me a great deal in developing my own style as a petite woman. I followed her account for several months before I began to commit and buy anything based on her recommendations. It will take time for you to find the person whose style speaks to you the most. Definitely take your time before following any tips that require spending more money to make sure it speaks to who you are as an individual.
2. Detox Your Closet
My journey of discovering my personal fashion style definitely started later than most since I was unwell most of my teens. Afterward, when I finally turned 21, Covid hit. Essentially, my closet became a frozen time capsule from my early teens till now. Nonetheless, this step applies to you whether your clothes are already up to date. Even if you’re a maximalist or a minimalist. Knowing what’s in your closet is important before you begin buying things.
The main point of detoxing your closet is for you to get reacquainted with what’s in your closet. This is imperative especially if you have a lot of clothes. You may already have most of the things that resonate with your personal style in your closet. Perhaps, you just weren’t aware of how to utilize them before.
There are various methods you could use to detox your closet. One of the most well-known is the KonMarie Method created by Marie Kondo. Her method can be used to help tidy up your whole home. For now, we’re going to use it just for your closet.
Whether you’re using the KonMarie Method or another, you would need to take everything out of your closet. Just browsing through your closet, as everything is hanging, is noncommittal. You’ll end up detoxing quite less than what you would have if you took everything out.
The main step you will be using from KonMarie Method is asking yourself the question, “does this spark joy?” as you hold each clothing item. If it doesn’t spark joy, you throw it in the “No” pile you’re going to throw away or donate. If it does, put it in the “Yes” pile that you will be keeping. However, if you’re not sure – you put it in the “Maybe” pile, which you’ll go through again at the end.
After asking Marie Kondo’s question, ask yourself an additional question.”Does this speak to who I am today, or who I want to be?”
I found that by adding this question, I ended up putting more clothes in the “No” pile, even though they still sparked joy in me. One of my friends is a maximalist and the question “sparking joy” doesn’t work for her. She usually says “Yes” to everything, which counteracts the whole point of detoxing her closet. In the end, she keeps everything, even though in reality she never wears most of the clothing she owns.
Asking if that piece of clothing resonates with who you are now or want to be, takes the past away and focuses the value of the clothing in your hand from the present to the future. All of our clothing has sparked joy in us at one point, but we can’t let that confuse us from discovering who we truly want to be in the future.
After you go through all of your clothes, retry the “Maybe” pile and finalize your choices. If you truly can’t decide on one or two items, keep them for now and give yourself a time limit. You would have to wear that piece of clothing within the next month, to experiment on how it fits into your personal style. If you’re unable to succeed – throw it away then.
After detoxing my closet, I found my personal style significantly approve. Since I had fewer options and now knew every article in my closet -I was able to build more versatile outfits. I was also able to check off several pieces from my shopping list after I discovered I already had those pieces within my closet. In fact, I would recommend not buying any more clothes before you detox your clothes.
3. Make a List of The Staples You Need to Add to Your Closet and Start Shopping!
Now, based on the information you’ve gathered from others and your wardrobe, begin listing the staples that you’re missing from your closet that represent your personal style. Staples refers to those items in your closet that will go with everything, even with anything new you buy. Examples of staples are leather jackets, trench coats, or classic white sneakers (highly recommend detoxing your shoes and jewelry as well!).
After you have a list of the staples you want part of your closet, begin searching for them. I’m currently on this step and have been taking months to find some of my staples. After detoxing my closet, I’ve surprisingly been impulse buying less, now that I have a better sense of my personal style.
I have also been less willing to compromise on my staples or items I do want to buy. For example, one of the staples I have been on the hunt for is a tan, single-breasted trench coat that’s a petite fit, falling either high above or low below my knees.
There have been several different versions that I have found for the trench, each missing one or two of the features I want. Even though I was tempted to buy them every single time, I still found myself hesitating. I questioned if the item sparks joy in me or am I just checking something off of my list. Being more conscious of your current buys prevents fewer things for you to throw out later. Don’t buy something just because you want to, or feel like you have to. Buy it only if you truly feel and think it’s what you’re looking for and will be able to truly enjoy wearing it.
That being said, you will of course most likely stay in the process of discovering your personal style forever, buying new clothes always. Since our personal style changes with us. However, don’t let that prevent you from enjoying the person you are now and what you feel most confident in, at this very moment. Buy new things as needed and experiment with the things you already have if you prefer to not spend more money. With time you’ll uncover your own style little by little.
Photo by Alyssa Strohmann on Unsplash
