I’m not a podcast or audible listener. Unfortunately, NYC commutes are not meant for podcasts. Usually, it would end up resulting in infinite rewinds. First, you’re unable to hear anything because of the loud outside city noise. Second, you’re trying not to trip in a fast-paced race to the next destination. If you attempt to tune out the world or the podcast – you end up losing your train stop or end up with an unlearned lesson. As a result, podcast attempts would lead to just headaches.
However, recently I decided to try again and play a recent episode that caught my eye on Spotify. I had never listened to any Call Her Daddy episodes before. Although I had heard of how it spoke freely about sex, feminism, and empowerment for women. The podcast’s name in itself spoke volumes.
The recent episode “To Those Feeling Lost in Their 20s” stood out to me. As a recent college grad working at a corporate job, struggling to find the missing piece in her life, it was as if the podcast was made for me. Does it sound like every other 20 year old? Yes, like most for sure.
I have always envied those that knew what their passion or life’s true calling was the minute they came out of the womb. Unfortunately, I was never one of them. Everything was merely a mindless experiment with very little meaning.
Call her Daddy’s recent episode piqued my interest further when I saw the guest speaker be Mel Robbins. It was strange that once I learned of her existence, I had begun to see her name everywhere. I first learned about Mel a month ago from an online interview she gave. She’s an American lawyer, as well as a motivational speaker. I found value in many of the struggles and lessons she shared with people. Seeing her name, I was excited, hoping the episode would cause an epiphany.
In the end, it did, but it also did not. Mel and Alex Cooper, the podcast’s creator, had a very meaningful conversation. However, I couldn’t help but feel that there was no conclusion. No critical advice to alleviate this emotion on how to not feel lost or how to become essentially unlost. I found myself still without a plan to find that missing piece.
Instead, ironically, the episode ended up addressing another issue I have been struggling with on the backend. Regret. At the most unexpected moments throughout the day, randomly an embarrassing moment or a point of regret would pop in my mind. I would feel this rush of emotions hit me with the sudden memory. I usually would shake my head and force myself to no longer think about that moment, blaming the fact that I overthink. However, those moments haven’t decreased but in fact, only increased. Interestingly enough, Alex asks the exact question I had been wondering a lot recently. How do you handle regret? Or How do you not have regret, since in your 20s you end up doing a lot of things you end up regretting?
I love Mel Robbin’s answer. She responded that regret is normal and it’s impossible to not have regret in your life. Which I found infinitely more comforting than when inspirational speakers attempt to teach you how to never regret anything in life. They do this by changing your outlook on life. Much harder to do than what Mel suggests. She recommends productive regret – to look back to that moment and ask, what can I learn from this?
Ever since then, each time a thought popped into my head, I began to ask what can I learn from this? It began to change these moments where I felt this irrational fear and need to change my direction of thoughts to something less embarrassing. Instead of falling into this black hole of self-criticism, I felt my emotions change to growth. I began to consider how I could be better by learning from those moments of regret and embarrassing moments, rather than avoiding them like the plague or internalizing them without a plan. They don’t define me. But what I do after them…does.
Define one thing you can learn from something you’ve regretted in the past. Share them in the comments below.
Photo by israel palacio on Unsplash
